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Target: Earth

by Abe Lincoln's Sour Milk

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1.
Blech 01:41
The two of us worked at the same place, and our coworkers loved you. They didn't care that you'd touch people, even if they didn't want you to. One year later, i'm still pissed off - pissing on fond memories from June. They'd say you weren't being a genuine creep, it was "just you being you." Well, if that's the case, then I hate this place, and I also hate the people who think that way, who ride that train, and then march to the steeple. As far as i'm concerned, liking yoga isn't redeeming. Being a Whole Foods patron is less appealing now; you've made it more deceiving. Subscribing to Obama emails! Taking mushrooms! Eating only beans! You may have tricked our friends into thinking you're the man, but I know you're not as you seem, cause our friends don't know about the time that you hurt me in the bathroom. I wrote a third verse, but I changed the words after I decided that you're forgiven by me, but you'll have to check again with when the devil's calendar is free.
2.
Part of being someone's friend is having things in common with them. That sounds good for most people, but it's not too good for us. We share some awful memories that took place in different realms. It's a way to bond and it's fuel for this song in the worst possible way, so we can laugh and joke about 30 Rock and watch the sax player lose his mind onstage - put the towel on the tile and ask if that show actually did define the age. We're already so similar in ways we don't yet know about. Don't act surprised when I'm scared of the light. You and I don't deserve to be so alike.
3.
Sick Vicious 02:01
My immune system used to be much stronger: my red blood cells were armed with AKs, bombs, grenades, and daggers, but now the budget's been cut (they've lost all of their guns). I need to compensate for the arsenal by taking various drugs. It would be of great assistance if you could go to the convenience store, buy some Advil and Vitamin C packets, and slide them right under my door. But you’re more familiar with drugs that don't come from the pharmacy - they come from a guy who claims his research chemicals are just like LSD, and the more I think about it, we’re not that different, you and me. We both take drugs to feel much better while we’re living at SUNY. Purchase what you need but please don't ever feel like you can’t spend a single night sober. Message me, I'll be right over. I’ll leave the whiskey in the freezer and my flask in the top drawer. I’m no Catholic saint; I just know how to rhyme (remember that my BAC’s my GPA from time to time). The alcohol keeps me less stressed out and much less likely to worry about all the things you’re doing right now that i wouldn’t dare to try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try. "Try" is the most important word to your parents, relatives, and neighbors - they’ll tell you to try as much as possible, find what you love, and then make whatever that is your major. Try to make some friends, try not to get arrested, take classes with a bunch of different professors. You can make the most of those four expensive years - all you gotta do is try! So in light of that, let’s try something new. Here's a competition for me and you: If you stop doing the scary stuff, I’ll be sure to stop drinking so much. I don’t want this to turn into a young adult novel where both protagonists die.
4.
Phase two 03:17
Cause no one’s ever been given the opportunity to tell it me it is only a phase - call it an act of self defense or call it a way to make sure I never have the chance to lie to myself. Either of the two will do. Do you think this is an acceptable way to approach the topic with you? The second phase is new, for sure, but do you think you could at least accept its existence, its presence. I’m going to back to bed. I haven’t done anything today worth telling you about at all, and that’s not okay. The clothes are spread across the floor; the bedsheets smell like snacks. There’s an imprint on the mattress that closely resembles my ass. I need to shower. I need to pick up the trash that hides a rotten banana. My identity can wait after i finish this episode of Futurama. My well-being can wait after I figure out if body puns work well in songs (hand me a few feet of rope and finger out wrist chair eye’m fit to stand on). Kick the chair out from under me (you know soccer never was a strength of mine). Tell them the little things were the reasons why I couldn't bide my Time to eat! Please come downstairs! Is something wrong? You’ve hardly touched your plate. You know I hate that worried look you’ve got. Is there anything I can do to help? You know you can tell us anything, right? Yeah, I’m left with that impression most days, but today isn’t on that list. Everything around me is crumbling like coffee cake and my internal organs are failing at a similar pace. My dick’s not getting much of a supply, despite my heart and brain’s demands. T his can, colored brightly, grips my brain, tin fist fits tightly. What arouses me is scary - creeping through my body once a night. If you know someone who knows a thing or two about fluidity, have 'em slide on over so we can drain our brains and shoot the breeze about changing seasons, renewed relationships, ever-molting shells, personal hells. Ever get that way yourself? Yeah, I feel that 100% - do you wanna hug it out?
5.
Lately, you and I have lost touch. We haven’t been calling each other as much as we planned to last fall. It’s tough cause we’re busy, but everyone says that (plus, I’ve been "busy" since I was a kid). And now that we live in opposing cities and we can no longer see the trees from our rooms, I guess this means a few visits a year will have to suffice. I know it sucks, but life sucks, and this is life. Lately you and I have lost friends. We haven’t been calling them as much as we should have been, considering the long distance. It’s tough cause they’re busy, but we always say that these friendships will blow away like the dust. Possessions can go missing, and fresh fruit can expire. It’s possible your diploma will get lost in a fire. You might lose your house and start squatting the mall. If you ever need help, please just give me a call. If you ever need help for any reason at all, then just pick up the phone and fucking give me a call.

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ABE LINCOLN'S SOUR MILK IS:
bruce - vocals, guitar, keys, ukulele
kilian - vocals, vibraphone, keys

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released June 6, 2015

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Abe Lincoln's Sour Milk Worcester, Massachusetts

bruce & kilian, since spring of 2011

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